Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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