Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
two words: eviction party
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
