you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
