i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
handjob tips. give me some.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
