I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize