it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
