the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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