Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
