hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize