My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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