u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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