I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
