girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
