Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
