I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
