Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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