It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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