OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
