I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
