I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
