He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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