They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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