Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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