I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
