so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
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Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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