so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
