If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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