Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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