Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
