I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
