their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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