I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
how does that bad decision feel?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
