i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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