He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
