her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
