she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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