I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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