you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
