I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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