My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
