Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We are all done wearing pants today
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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