It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
