Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
