All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
we're so committed to being not committed
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
