She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize