well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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