just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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