Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize