a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
