And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize