Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
