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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  got weed?

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

  (206): View more from Washington

  sorry mom...

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• (305): View more from Florida

  false alarm. still invincible.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening

  (214): View more from Texas

  YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer

  Fav 3 243 110

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• (310): View more from California

  What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.

  (858): View more from California

  CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG

  Fav 1 106 73

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'

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