Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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