I want to make a zoo with you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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