that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
